Here's Not Now
by Naive Nostalgia
Summary: Takes place after Sleeper - What if Buffy had a dream and she made a wish to live her life over after she had come back from the dead? What if a not-so-dead Halfrek granted this wish? Please R&R!!
1. Prologue

This story takes place after "Sleeper".  
  
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy own all. I'm just playing around.  
  
*NOTE*: Well, this is annoying. I went back and double spaced everything and fixed all the spelling errors I could find, but now the spacing is all messed up. If anybody knows why this is happening with the spacing, PLEASE e-mail me at Willow2666@hotmail.com. Thanks!!  
  
Prologue  
  
'Another lovely scooby meeting', Buffy thought. She was sitting in a chair, at her dining room table, surrounded by her friends. Almost like things were before everything exploded.  
  
Xander was almost at the head of the meeting, bringing up subjects, always debating, but Willow wasn't far behind. Buffy was bored; she didn't know what anyone was talking about, nor did she care. She got up from the table, began to leave the room, but stopped when she noticed everyone staring at her. Then, did Buffy realize she had just gotten up and starting walking toward the stairs.  
  
"Oh. Sorry. Uh . . . I'm really tired and I think I'll just go to bed. Maybe everything will make more sense tomorrow." 'Considering the fact it makes none now,' Buffy thought.  
  
"Okay. If Buffy gets to leave this boring . . . I don't know. I'm too tired to tell anymore. I'll just . . . leave now," Anya said, while also getting up from the table. A few moments later, the click of the front door signaled she had gone.  
  
Everyone sat in silence for a time, until Dawn spoke up. "I think they set a trend; which I will follow. Goodnight, guys." With that, she followed the trail Buffy had used only several moments before.  
* * *  
Buffy heard bits and pieces from her bedroom. Once she heard the door open and close a few times, she knew everyone had left. The silence greeted her, and gave her more time to think. 'Spike . . . in this house. My house. A slightly psychotic vampire, with a soul, being played by an evil being forcing him to have mind slips. A whole new type of chaos. On sale Monday. I don't even want to know where that came from. I think I'll just go to sleep now . . .' And within minutes, Buffy was. A few moments later, she didn't know where she was. Or maybe she knew far too well . . . 


	2. Chapter One The Wish

Chapter One  
  
I'm dreaming. I went upstairs, and now I'm dreaming. But then how . . . It'll be okay. I'll be okay. I'll be okay. Since it's a dream, I'll just play it out like last time, thought Buffy. When she opened her eyes, she opened them to the familiar sight of her coffin. Since she said she'd play it out, Buffy did. As she hurried to dig out of her nearly oxygen-less casket, her hands began to bleed, again, and it hurt. She had prophetic dreams, but none like this . . . None THIS real.  
  
THAT'S BECAUSE IT IS.  
  
The gasp she took couldn't cover it. Buffy had heard the voice in her mind. It had been IN her. So much for playing it through, she thought. "Uh . . . who are you?," she asked. She recognized the voice . . . And then it hit her. "Halfrek?"  
  
YES. IN THE VOICE.  
  
"But . . . I watched you die. D'Hoffryn killed you." Buffy was now only in the dirt filled grave from her waist down, but wanted to get out. Fast. Faster than her body would allow her. "Can I see you? It would be easier to talk to you. To understand."  
  
OH, ALL RIGHT. TAKE THE MYSTERIOUS-FEEL RIGHT OUT OF IT.  
  
With the noise much like that of a finger snap, which it was, Halfrek emerged from an exaggerated cloud of smoke. Coughing, like usual.  
  
Buffy took her hands and tried to fan the smoke away, now standing beside her grave, but not having much look. Plus, it only made her hands sting worse. "Again with the whole "you're dead" subject. How can you be here?"  
  
After a quick sigh, Halfrek answered. "Well, you see . . . Yes. I am dead. To your dimension. But, once a vengeance demon is killed, there are many other dimensions. Certain wishes can affect said other dimensions. Dreaming, the dream world you enter while dreaming, is another dimension. Therefore, I had access to it. Thank God D'Hoffryn hadn't killed me entirely, because then we wouldn't standing here today. Oh. I guess you wanted to know why you're here."  
  
The stare she got from Buffy signaled she was right.  
  
"Okay. You're here because, even though you probably aren't aware and don't remember, in one of your dreams last night, you made a wish. You wished that you could live over again, from the point of which you were resurrected. And, you should be living it exactly the same, but . . ."  
  
"But. What but? I'm not a fan of the word but. Especially not when it involves a dead vengeance demon and a Slayer."  
  
"It's just that since parts of my privileges were provoked and certain rules apply to the different dimensions . . . When you made that wish in your dream, the dream dimension rule is that you cannot live a moment from your past exactly the same the second time around. Therefore, a few changes were made. I'm only aware and can inform you of a few. First off, after being convinced by Tara and Giles, your friends did not resurrect you. You were resurrected by a higher purpose, for a higher purpose. I don't know what that purpose is, so I can't help you there. Second, the bikers are still here, and your friends are still having trouble. There's an underworld prophecy that "The Warrior will arise from darkness, and be brought back to the light." Simple, but tells a lot. Although, your friends seem to think that the other Slayer, Faith, is back to fight some pretty powerful demon. They either read to much or didn't read enough into it, because it's pretty obvious it means you coming back from the "beyond".  
  
Buffy's eyes closed for a moment, fighting back un-foreseen tears. "So, you mean my friends didn't bring me back?" Halfrek knew it was rhetorical, so she kept her place and waited for Buffy to continue. "Huh. I mean, I knew I was upset last year, about being torn out of Heaven, but it hurts to know they could be talked out of something so easily. It hurts."  
  
Knowing to pause another beat, Halfrek gave Buffy her moment of silence, then continued. "But Buffy, you have to keep in mind I know very little about this situation. I was only informed of the basics. Oh, and I also heard you thinking that you would play it out the same as before? Well, I've been informed that you can't and if you try, something very bad for both good and evil will arise. This is your chance to live it out better. Plus, this is your dimension now. It's real. If you want to leave, the only way to get out is to play it through 'till the end. Or, so D'Hoffryn says. Once you've played your part, you will be given the choice to remain here, or to go back to what you know. Have fun. Oh, and I may come back to check on you every so often."  
  
With that, Halfrek began to fade away. Buffy was not too thrilled about that, or anything else, really. "Hey! Stop!." It was too late. Halfrek was gone. And there was nothing she could do. 


	3. Chapter Two Not Home Before Dawn

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy own everything. I'm just playing around.  
Chapter Two  
  
"So, that's it? You just grant a wish I didn't even know I'd made and then make me live in some world I don't even know? I don't belong here . . ." 'Willow. Dawn. Spike . . . Any of them! I need to find them. I need to help them! I need them to help me . . .', Buffy thought.  
  
With that, Buffy walked through the graveyard in her black dress. Armed with nothing but herself. Walking into a world that sparked vague resemblance to her own. But Halfrek had said it was her own . . .  
  
She heard the slightly distant rumble of a motorcycle and knew it was show time. Would her friends react the same? Would she react the same? Then Buffy noticed that with each step she took, the rumble became louder, until she could tell it was only moments away. She followed her instinct and hid in a few bushes, and watched as several motorcycles tore through the cemetery. 'Home, sweet, home,' she thought.  
  
Since they had passed, Buffy walked from the graveyard and back onto a main road of Sunnydale. She walked toward her house, noticing fire and smoke and death all around her. Much like it had been a year before. Before she knew it, Buffy was only two blocks from her home. And that's when she heard footsteps coming from in front of her; walking toward her. She quickly his behind a fence. Tara, Willow, Xander, and Anya walked by; heading for the cemetery she had risen from only a few moments before.  
  
'Okay, Buffy. Now's your chance. Walk to them, follow them, catch up with them! Anytime now,' she thought. But she knew why she wasn't going toward them.  
  
"I should see Dawn first. I owe her that much, I guess," Buffy murmured to herself. The thought kept creeping into her mind that the only reason she wanted to see Dawn first was because she knew Spike wouldn't be far behind, but she shrugged it off.  
  
Now, coming back to the sidewalk, Buffy continued home, hoping to find someone familiar . . . something familiar. . . As she walked up the smaller sidewalk to her front door, Buffy braced herself for anything she may have found inside, then grasped the door knob, and turned it. Thankfully, it was unlocked. 'So, there are vampires, demons, and whatever else, and we still leave the door open?,' Buffy thought.  
  
Buffy walked inside and found what she was looking for. Home. Or as close as she would come to it for a while. Ignoring the urges she had to lay on the couch and go to sleep, or yell Dawn's name so she'd know her sister was back, Buffy decided to walk around and see what or who she found. First, she went upstairs, checking her room first. "At least some things never seem to change," Buffy said, smiling at her room. She decided to sit on her bed for a moment, just sorting through her thoughts. 'Nothing with Spike happened. Nothing with Willow happened. Tara never . . . There was no singing, there is no crazed "First Evil" guy going around spreading his prophetic "From beneath you, it devours" message. I never said I was complaining . . .', Buffy thought.  
  
That's when she heard the sound. It had come from Dawn's room. Something had fallen over, probably a porcelain box, and broken.  
  
"If Buffy were here, she'd kill me . . .," came Dawn's voice from that room. Buffy couldn't help the smile on her face; she could work with this.  
  
She got up from her bed and walked to Dawn's doorway, noticing Dawn now had her back to the door. "And I will."  
  
Those three words got Dawn to jump and turn around faster than anything else. "Oh. It's just the Buffy Bot. Every time I hear your voice, sometimes I fool myself into thinking . . ." Dawn's eyes had finally scanned Buffy over completely, and noticed her dress. The newest fad was definitely NOT funeral attire.  
  
It was still harder for this Dawn to grasp and accept what was going on. "What . . . What is this? Is this a joke? Is this some kind of a sick joke? That's the dress we put my sister in for her funeral. What's going on?"  
  
It's a good thing Buffy had patience. "Dawnie. I know it's hard to accept, but I'm back. I don't know how, and I don't know why, but . . . I'm back now. And I promise I'll never leave again." 'Okay, so I lied about the whole "not knowing how" thing. No one's perfect,' Buffy thought.  
  
"Buffy?" Dawn asked as she walked to her sister.  
  
"Buffy."  
  
Dawn squeezed her sister tighter than Buffy could ever remember. "Dawnie? I only came home to let you know I was back. So, please. Stay here, and if anyone else comes, don't tell them I'm back. I'd rather tell everybody myself. Okay?"  
  
Dawn nodded, having let her sister going. "Yeah. But, I want to help. I don't want to wait around for some motorcycle guys to come and kill me."  
  
Buffy sighed. "Dawn, please. I don't want you to get hurt. Just, do it for me. I promise I'll try to make it up to you, if you want to help so badly."  
  
It was Dawn's turn to sigh. "All right. Just promise me you won't do anything I wouldn't do."  
  
Buffy gave one of her priceless "Yeah-right-sure" looks.  
  
"Okay. I see your point. So, do everything I wouldn't do, and don't do anything I would do."  
  
"You can count on it. Hopefully I'll be back soon."  
  
"Bye Buffy."  
  
"Bye."  
  
With that, Buffy walked out of Dawn's room, downstairs, out the door, and into battle. 


	4. Chapter Three Reunion

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy own all. I'm just playing around.  
  
*Note* Just so everybody's aware . .. I wrote this chapter at about midnight, so if it's really bad, you'll understand why. Hopefully it's not. Please tell me if it is. Thanks. Oh, and everything that's in capital letters is usually just Halfrek talking to Buffy through her mind, but in other sentences, it's to make more of an emphasis on the words, because I can't figure out how to italicize or bold anything. I mean, I know how on my computer, but it doesn't show up online.  
Chapter Three  
  
Buffy was almost in the cemetery when she heard screaming, which she instinctively knew belonged to Anya. She followed the screaming and saw at least five of the demons, complete with complementary motorcycles. One held Anya with a dagger at her throat, threatening to kill her unless someone told him where the Slayer was. At the word Slayer, Buffy started walking toward the fight, but stopped in mid-stride when the Buffy Bot ran from behind her and into action.  
  
"I'm the Slayer. And you're soon to be . . . " Before finishing, the Buffy Bot managed to knock away the dagger, unlock the demon's grip, and sent Anya flying to the ground. "Dead."  
  
"Thanks, but ow,"Anya said, rubbing her right shoulder.  
  
'But I thought the Buffy Bot was ripped apart by those guys' Buffy thought.  
  
MUST I REMIND YOU, AGAIN, THAT THINGS ARE DIFFERENT HERE?  
  
"Halfrek? You mean you've been hearing my thoughts? What is this, like some movie to you?" Buffy asked, whispering.  
  
YEP. COMPLETE WITH POPCORN.  
  
Buffy sighed at Halfrek's remark. Probably wasn't even sarcasm. "Well, what do I do?"  
  
WHATEVER YOU WANT. OH, BUT JUST SO YOU KNOW, IF YOU JUST STAND AROUND TALKING TO ME ALL NIGHT, YOUR FRIENDS WILL DIE.  
  
"Thanks. I guess," Buffy said, before glancing back at her friends. They weren't fairing as well as they had been before. The Buffy Bot was moving too slow, and overall just getting in the way.  
  
In between fighting off demons, Xander managed to ask the question Buffy had been wondering. "Hey. Will. What's wrong with the Buffy Bo-- I mean, what's wrong with Buffy?"  
  
Willow's glare made Xander change his words; the demons weren't supposed to know it was a robot. "Well . . . her, uh . . . her energy's low, because it's been drained since the last time she rechar-- since the last time she ate."  
  
'It's now or never,' Buffy thought before running to the rescue. On her way in, she knocked another of the demons that was now coming after the still grounded Anya, away and into a tree. "That's what you get for buying into a diversion." She then walked over, found the dagger the Buffy Bot had knocked away, and stabbed the demon by the tree once in the heart, then in the neck. "That should do it. I hope."  
  
As she walked back, Buffy glanced at her friends. They were all heavily distracted from fighting, which really wasn't good. She smiled at them all. "Hey, guys. I was just in the neighborhood. Heard some screaming. Thought you might be able to use some help."  
  
They all continued to look at her in awe.  
  
Xander got punched hard in the jaw because of the living, breathing, blond distraction. Buffy winced like the pain was her own. "Oh. Sorry. Keep fighting." 'At least they can still follow simple instructions,' Buffy thought.  
  
Buffy took the dagger, and ran over to help Xander who seemed to be having the most trouble. Buffy went to stab the demon, but it grabbed her elbow and twisted. She yelped in pain. "Okay. Ow." Since the twist hadn't been too severe, but enough so she didn't want to use that arm for at least day or two, she switched the dagger to her left arm and stabbed the demon in the head. "Not anything I'd wanna see first thing in the morning. Or, first thing in the resurrection."  
  
Next, Buffy sprinted over to help Willow. "Hey, Wills." She kicked the demon hard in the stomach.  
  
"Uh . . . Hey, Buffy." Willow stepped away to let Buffy rule the stage.  
  
This time, however, the demon knocked the dagger away from her. "Hey! Do I dirty your cheap, stolen silver weapons?"  
  
With a sharp knock to the groin, stomach, and chest, c/o Buffy, the demon doubled over in pain. Buffy took advantage of this moment, and bent down just above the demon. Two seconds later, Buffy twisted the demon's neck, leaving its head hanging by one string of flesh.  
  
After seeing what she could do, the other demons got back on their motorcycles and left the cemetery. And Sunnydale. "And to clear up any doubts, this town has a Slayer. A REAL Slayer. Don't forget to tell your friends! This is MY territory." One last demon nearly hit Xander, but he moved away, just in time.  
  
Anya walked over to lean against him. " Well, at least the demons almost hit you on their way OUT of town. Oh, hey Buffy! I hope. You are Buffy, right?"  
  
The Buffy Bot walked over and smiled at Anya. "Yes. I am Buffy. Buffy Anne Summers, Vampire Slayer. Born in 1981. And you are Anya. Former vengeance demon . . ." It started off speaking in a normal, Buffy voice, but ended in a deep, failing voice before toppling over to the ground.  
  
"I kind of feel bad for it," Willow said before walking over to the real Buffy.  
  
"Yeah. And it's kind of ironic. I mean . . . the B-Buffy Bot's batteries ran out, while the real Buffy's alive and back again. Standing right in front of us," Tara said, smiling all the while at Buffy.  
  
Buffy stared at the robot. "Yeah. Ironic."  
  
Anya sighed, slightly irritated. "Yes, that's all well and good. I'm happy we all made the startling discovery, but it still doesn't answer my question. You are really Buffy, right?"  
  
Buffy smiled at Anya. "Yeah. I really am." 


	5. Chapter Four Gone

Disclaimer: See previous chapters.  
  
Chapter Four  
  
Buffy braced herself for the group hug she knew would inevitably come, which it did. 'I guess they really do care after all,' she thought.  
  
"It's great to have you back, Buffy," Xander said before pulling away.  
  
"It's great to be back. I missed you guys."  
  
Tara was the next to pull away. "You'll tell us what it was like, right?"  
  
Buffy sighed. "Yeah. I'll be sure to tell you every detail." Buffy felt distraught, and like she wanted to sleep for a month or two, and it obviously showed.  
  
"Oh. I didn't mean now. Later. Maybe tomorrow? If you're up to it then. Sorry," Tara said while giving Buffy an apologetic look.  
  
"Yeah. Tomorrow."  
  
Next to back away was Willow. "You know we didn't . . . You know it wasn't us that resurrected you, right?"  
  
"Yeah. I know."  
  
Willow's eyes began to tear up before she continued. "I'm sorry. We almost did. It's just that it wouldn't have been right to mess with life and death. We thought it wouldn't be right. The only spell we could find that had even the smallest possibility of working could have killed me. Or all of us."  
  
"Yeah. That part wasn't too clear, " Anya added.  
  
"It just didn't seem right. I'm sorry. But . . . But you're back now. You're back in a place where you're loved and there's no more hell or torment."  
  
Buffy put on her "it's okay" look. "Will, it's all right. Really. I understand. You didn't even have to explain. I'm fine with it. With everything. But right now, I just want to go home, get out of this dress, maybe burn it, then go to sleep."  
  
Xander walked over and put his hand on Anya's right shoulder.  
  
"Xander! Other shoulder. Ow. Ow!"  
  
Xander quickly changed shoulders.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
Xander cleared his throat. "Um . . . An? You can let go of Buffy now."  
  
Anya pushed away from Buffy, only then realizing she hadn't let go. "Yeah. Sorry." She then walked over to Xander, who placed an arm around her un-bruised shoulder.  
  
Buffy started walking out of the cemetery, and her friends followed. It was silent for a while, but Buffy felt an overwhelming amount of silence before she woke up six-feet- under ground, again, so she felt like talking. "So. I what's going to happen with the Buffy Bot?"  
  
Tara decided to answer. "Well, I guess we'll have Spike carry it to the basement tomorrow?"  
  
"Okay. I was just wondering . . . Who took care of Dawn while I was . . . gone?"  
  
Tara answered again. "Well . . . um . . . Willow and I kind of moved into your mother's room to help out more. Some of her things are in boxes in the basement, but a lot are still intact. We added a lot of new things, too. Your room's still completely the same. Oh, and Spike came over a lot after dark to check on Dawn. He went to your grave a lot after you were buried. We were all really worried, especially Dawn. Sometimes she went to keep him company. We all cried so much . . . we still do . . . did. But, now we won't have to, I guess."  
  
Xander had to add a few things. "Anya and I went over a lot, too. We looked after Dawn when Will and Tara had to go out and patrol. We usually switched off, until tonight. It's kind of ironic, because Giles left a few days ago for England."  
  
"He's coming back in a few days. It was just to have a meeting with the Watcher's Council," Willow added.  
  
Anya rolled her eyes. "Yeah. A real meeting of the minds there."  
  
The other four stopped to stare at her.  
  
"What? After what they did to him and made him do? They're all idiots. Kind of like psychopaths in prison, but in tweed."  
  
"I can officially say, I didn't get that," Willow said.  
  
"I'm right there with you," Xander agreed.  
  
With that sorted out, they all continued to the Summer's residence. When it was time to go inside, Willow, Tara, and Buffy said their goodbyes to Xander and Anya, and walked into the house.  
  
Immediately, Buffy felt something wasn't right. Obviously Willow and Tara felt it, too. Buffy's mind immediately leaped to what was wrong. It had to be.  
  
"Dawn? Dawn! Dawn, if you're here, answer me!" Buffy screamed while walking through the entire first floor of the home. She then ran upstairs and screamed her sister's name again. Buffy knew it was useless. The home was completely silent. No one was there except for two incredibly powerful wiccans and a Slayer. 


	6. Chapter Five Same Time, Different Place

Disclaimer: See previous chapters  
  
Note: After finishing this chapter, some of you may think it's B/S, but really, it's not. It's just how it comes across, but so far, no B/S. Oh, and sorry it's taken me so long. There's one word for why it has taken me so long: School. Anyways, please R&R. And I don't especially like Dawn either . . . Well, I actually hate Dawn, but I'll try to make her better in the fanfic.  
  
Chapter Five  
  
Coming back down the stairs, Buffy was nearly hyper-ventilating. She walked over to her two worried friends. "You both stay here and see if she comes back, even though it's very unlikely. That was a little thing called hope talking. It's still probably too dangerous to be out on the streets right now."  
  
Willow began to protest. "But what about y--"  
  
"Unless you're the Slayer," Buffy interrupted. "I'll search every street if I have to. It's my fault anyway. I'm the one who told her she couldn't fight and to stay here. If anyone's going to die tonight, it's going to be me. Again."  
  
"Good luck!" Tara called after her.  
  
Buffy ran out the door and to a park Dawn sometimes liked to hang out in. Empty. She then ran to the hospital. Dawn never checked in. Buffy ran to her graveyard. Still no Dawn. She checked a few more places, knowing she wouldn't find Dawn. Buffy walked back to the park and sat on a swing before bursting into tears. "I'm sorry Dawnie. I'm so sorry."  
  
SHE'S STILL OKAY.  
  
"What? W-Where is she?" Buffy asked as she felt a glimmer of hope.  
  
I'M NOT ALLOWED TO SAY. I'VE BEEN GIVEN ONE WORD TO HELP.  
  
"And that would be?"  
  
CRYPT.  
  
Realization struck Buffy across the face. 'No, that's not realization. That's a vampire.' Buffy thought.  
  
She got off the swing and into a fighting stance. "Look. I'm not in the mood. Can't we do this tomorrow?"  
  
The vampire advanced at her, ready to strike once more, but Buffy edged away before it could connect. Buffy threw a fast punch, then a kick, then a punch again, before knocking the vampire off balance. She bent down and twisted it's neck completely off and watched as it became a cloud of dust.  
  
Buffy ran as fast as her body would let her to Spike's crypt and when she got there, the door wouldn't budge. She kicked the door in and screamed her sister's name. "Dawn!"  
  
"Buffy!"  
  
Buffy ran to Dawn, who was in a chair with her hands tied and her feet bound. "Dawn, I'm so sorry. What happened?" Buffy looked around for something to cut the ropes with.  
  
"I waited at home, like you said, and out of no where three of the demons barged into the house and forced me to go with them. I guess they thought this crypt was deserted or something, because Spike hasn't been here at all. They left me here and went back out to probably capture or kill more people. One had the tips of his hair dyed green and back in a ponytail, if that helps."  
  
Buffy recalled that one of the demons she killed fit that description. "Yeah, it does. I killed that one; stabbed it. I guess we don't have anything else to worry about." Buffy found a knife and cut the ropes on Dawn.  
  
"So, I guess this means you'll listen to me from now on. Right?" Dawn asked.  
  
"Yeah. I will. I promise." Buffy hugged her sister tightly.  
  
Dawn smiled broadly. "Good. So. Here's what you have to do. You have to let me go to this really big party this weekend, let me sleep over at Janice's house tomorrow, and let me go shopping with your credit card."  
  
Buffy withdrew from the embrace and stared at Dawn. No, maybe and no, not ever, don't even think about it, it's not happening."  
  
"Hey, it was worth a shot."  
  
"Hello? Breaking and entering is a criminal offense . . . Oh, it's just you, Nibblet. And the bot."  
  
The voice caused both girls to jump, until they noticed who it was.  
  
Dawn cleared her throat. "Uh, Spike. Sorry. There were these demons, and they took me from the house, and they brought me here, tied me up, and . . . you're really not listening."  
  
All Spike was doing was staring at Buffy, at the dress, her hands, her hair. "Buffy?"  
  
"Yeah. It's me. Really me."  
  
"Your hands . . ."  
  
"We were gonna fix them. I don't know how they got like that," Dawn said.  
  
Spike stared Buffy in the eyes with a compassionate look. "I do. Clawed your way out of a coffin, that's how. Isn't that right?"  
  
Buffy nodded. "Yeah. That's what I had to do."  
  
Spike looked away. "Done it myself."  
  
Spike looked up again and stared at Buffy for a few more moments, causing Buffy to uncomfortably play with her hands, until looking at Dawn. "I guess you'd better go home. I'll walk you if you'd like. Could still be some nasties looking for a party."  
  
Buffy cleared her throat. "No. Really. It's fine. I'm fine. Everything's . . . fine. We can make it alone. Thanks."  
  
By the stare Spike was sending Buffy, she could tell there was nothing anyone could do to keep Spike from coming.  
  
"Fine," Buffy said with an exaggerated sigh.  
  
The three walked out of the crypt and then out of the cemetery. An uncomfortable silence followed them to the Summer's Residence. They paused at the front door.  
  
Buffy glared at Dawn. "Uh . . . Dawn? Can you go on ahead? I kind of need to talk to Spike."  
  
Dawn nodded. "Yeah. Sure. Just come in soon, okay? We've missed you."  
  
"I will. I promise."  
  
When Dawn was gone, Buffy tried to find the reason she had wanted to talk to Spike. Alone. She came up empty, until she remembered how much she had wanted to talk to someone else about . . . everything. The question was, could she? Without the supposed "badness for good and evil"? Thankfully, her answer came.  
  
YEAH. GO AHEAD IF YOU WANT. NOTHING PARTICULARLY BAD WILL HAPPEN.  
  
'What does that mean?' Buffy thought.  
  
NOTHING. JUST DO IT ALREADY. STORY'S GETTING SLOW.  
  
"Um . . . Spike? There's a lot I want to tell you . . . have to tell you. But, I have to warn you that it's all pretty bizarre, and even I think I'm just dreaming, but . . . "  
  
Spike glared at her, making Buffy uneasy and causing Buffy to trail off.  
  
"What? Are you okay?" she asked.  
  
"Oh. Uh . . . yeah. But do you really have to remind me of pain and torment in a hell dimension, luv?"  
  
Buffy sighed. "That's just it. I wasn't . . . When it happened before, at least, I wasn't in hell. I was happy. Wherever I was, I was happy. And complete. I still think I was in Heaven. But my friends . . . Willow, Xander, Anya, Tara . . . they took me out of there. And this whole life . . . I used to think it was hell. But, I found out I can be happy here . . . There. I'm not sure what to call any of this anymore."  
  
"Buffy? Slayer? What are you talking about?" Spike asked with a very worried expression.  
  
"I'm from a year in the future . . . My mind is. Well, not just the future, but another dimension or world. In that world, I had jumped off the tower, and . . . died. But . . . Willow, Tara, Xander, and Anya brought me back. Dawn and you . . . They didn't tell you. Either of you about any of it. They thought I had been in a hell dimension, but I had been in Heaven. I had been happy and at peace. I can actually still remember it . . . Bits and pieces because it's kind of hard and everything's still kind of vague . . . But I was in Heaven. Now, a year after that . . . this . . . for me, I went upstairs to bed after a scooby meeting, and in one of the dreams I had, I accidentally made a wish to live it all over again from that time, to live it better. A vengeance demon in that dream dimension granted that wish. I got to crawl out of my grave all over again."  
  
Spike stared hard at Buffy, trying to piece it together, trying to understand, :But . . . When a wish is made and granted in a dream dimension, you can't live it the same. Not exactly the same. What's different?"  
  
'Well . . . Here, my friends didn't bring me back. I was brought back for a higher purpose and by a higher purpose. Or so a certain vengeance demon said. You know her. Well, knew her. She's Halfrek."  
  
"Halfrek? Nope. Sorry, but I don't."  
  
"Oh. Sorry about that. That's the name D'Hoffryn chose for her. You know her by . . . Cecily? She's not British anymore, though."  
  
"W-what? Cecily?"  
  
"The one and only."  
  
NO! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TELL HIM THAT? STUPID GIRL.  
  
'I wouldn't have had to do it if SOMEONE hadn't granted a certain wish I didn't even know about, and caused me to be standing here today. I think the words I'm looking for are along the lines of . . . "pay back." ' Buffy thought.  
  
"Well . . . I must say that hell and torment are sounding great compared to this."  
  
"If you stick around long enough, you'll get to experience hell first hand. Again." 


	7. Chapter Six Visitation

Disclaimer: Same as always.  
  
Note: Okay, I know this chapter is pretty short, but I tried adding more, and it came out really crappy, so I decided to keep it at the length I had intended. I'll try to make up for it in future chapters.  
  
Chapter Six  
  
Buffy sighed. "Look, Spike. I have no idea what time it is, but I have to go inside and prove to everybody I'm really okay. I'd let you in, but . . ."  
  
Spike followed Buffy's gaze to the slowly lightening sky. "Oh. Right. Well . . . you know where to find me. If you need anything."  
  
With that, he ran off in the direction of his crypt.  
  
Buffy stood for a while, just watching the sun rise. Once it was through, she went inside, following the voices of her friends to Willow and Tara's room. "Hey guys."  
  
Dawn immediately perked up. "Buffy! We were just about to check on you. So, what did you two talk about?"  
  
Buffy cleared her throat. "Oh . . .well, I'll tell you alter. All of you. I promise. Just . . . not now."  
  
Willow nodded. "Yeah. I guess you'd be tired . . . with the rising from the dead and everything . . ."  
  
Buffy shook her head. "Well . . . not really tired. I don't really know how to describe it. I'm too tired to sleep, but too awake to . . . stay awake? Was that even a sentence?"  
  
Tara looked thoughtfully at Buffy. "We were just going to go to bed, once you came in. We could make coffee, if you wanted. Or just talk."  
  
"But not about death or- or anything involving . . . Sorry." Willow added.  
  
Buffy smiled. "No. It's okay. But, I'd just kind of like to try to go to sleep. But we could do the talking thing later. Although, there's something I want to know now. Am . . . Am I broke?"  
  
There was a long beat before anyone even dared to reply. Willow braved the danger. "Just a little."  
  
"And on that happy note, I'll never be able to get to sleep. But, thanks for telling me. I needed to know that. Good night."  
  
"Goodnight" came the response from the three other girls. Buffy walked to "her" room and quickly tore off the dress, folded it, put it on her dress, then got changed into something a little less . . . morbid. She slowly got into bed and attempted to sleep. Amazingly enough, she did. But, it wasn't necessarily sleep.  
  
HI BUFFY. I THOUGHT IT WAS ABOUT TIME TO CHECK IN ON EVERYTHING.  
  
'Hey, well, that's a great start for you,' Buffy said.  
  
WHAT IS?  
  
'Thinking. I never thought it was one of your strong points.'  
  
DO YOU EVER WANT TO GO BACK TO YOUR WORLD?  
  
The silence told Halfrek she did.  
  
ALL RIGHT. WELL . . . YOU DO REALIZE EVERYTHING WILL TAKE PLACE JUST AS IT HAPPENED BEFORE, UNLESS YOU CHANGE IT, RIGHT?  
  
'Yeah. You pretty much covered that before.'  
  
GOOD. YOU KNOW SOME PEOPLE JUST AREN'T AS QUICK TO UNDERSTAND. LIKE WHEN THIS ONE GIRL IN RUSSIA MADE A WISH . . . CARNAGE EVERYWHERE, BUT SHE COULDN'T UNDERSTAND . . .  
  
Buffy's exasperated stare made Halfrek trail off.  
  
OH. SORRY. I GOT CAUGHT UP IN THE MOMENT.  
  
'That's nice. Uh . . . There's been this . . . question I've been wanting to ask you ever since this . . . happened.'  
  
ASK AWAY.  
  
'What . . . What higher purposes were you talking about?'  
  
WELL . . . A LOT OF US DEMONS LIKE TO CALL THEM . . . THE "POWERS THAT BE".  
  
'I'll just pretend to understand all of this. Oh. And . . . what did the "Powers That Be" resurrect me for?"  
  
THIS WAS ONE OF THE PARTS I'M NOT COMPLETELY SURE OF. D'HOFFRYN JUST TOLD ME ABOUT IT, ACTUALLY. BUT, ONLY THE BASICS.  
  
'Such as?'  
  
DO YOU REMEMBER THOSE TWO OTHER HELL GODS THAT FORCED GLORY INTO EXILE?  
  
'That's really not something I'll forget.'  
  
WELL, SINCE GLORY WAS DEFEATED AND KILLED, LEAVING THEM BOTH IN EQUAL POWER, SOMETHING IS GOING TO COME ALONG AND CHANGE THIS.  
  
'This something would be?'  
  
I TOLD YOU I ONLY KNEW THE BASICS. ANYTHING THAT I HAVEN'T TOLD YOU, I DON'T KNOW. I'M SORRY. OH, BUT THERE IS ONE MORE THING. YOUR FRIENDS . . . SOME OF THEM MIGHT GET OR BE CAPABLE OF GETTING BITS AND PIECES OF THEIR MEMORIES FROM THE OTHER WORLD. RIGHT NOW, "SPIKE" AS YOU CALL HIM, IS THE MOST VULNERABLE TO THIS BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU TOLD HIM. I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO TELL YOU THAT, BUT IT'LL COME IN HANDY EVENTUALLY . . .  
  
'Eventually . . . What do you mean eventually? What are you talking about?'  
  
SORRY, BUT OTHER PEOPLE NEED TO MAKE WISHES, TOO. BYE.  
  
'No. No bye. Come back here!! Dammit, Halfrek! Come back!'  
  
But Halfrek didn't come back. For the next sixteen hours, Buffy slept until she sensed it was time to patrol. 


	8. Chapter Seven Nothing's Keeping Me Here

Disclaimer: Same as always.  
  
Note: I'm starting to think that I write better at midnight, when I'm half asleep than in the afternoon, when I'm sick and wide awake. Yeah, I wrote this chapter and the prologue when I was wide awake. Oh, well. I'll write the rest at midnight then, I guess.  
  
Chapter Seven  
  
While patrolling, Buffy had dusted two vamps and was now on her way to Spike's crypt. She had too much built up inside her that she needed to let out. Too many thoughts, too many questions, too many answers. She needed to talk to the only person who had even the smallest capability of understanding.  
  
When Buffy got to the door, she decided to knock for once. Since her knuckles, even bandaged, were still raw, it hurt a little more than it should have, but almost immediately, the door opened.  
  
"Buffy . . ." Spike stared at her with the same love, respect, and longing he had showed her before, even as a soul-less vampire. It almost hurt Buffy that she could never feel the same, especially since in this reality he was still a demon.  
  
"Spike. Can I come in?"  
  
"Oh . .. uh, sure." Spike moved aside so Buffy could enter, which she did. She chose to sit on a worn-out couch. A long silence followed, until Buffy could sort through the chaos of her mind and find the wording for what she wanted to say.  
  
"Um . . . Halfrek told me that all of you are capable of remembering the other world . . . and I want- I need to have that happen. She said . . . she said that since I've told you everything, you're the most vulnerable to remembering . . . The point to this babbling is, do you want to? Remember. But, I've got to tell you, it's not all good. The memories. Most of it isn't good. This past year was by far one of the worst I've had. Aside from the one with Mom and . . . me."  
  
"Can you tell me about it?"  
  
Buffy hesitated. "I guess. But you can't tell any of them . . . my friends . . . You have to promise not to tell them."  
  
It was Spike's turn to hesitate. "Fine."  
  
"Well . . . first off, Tara . . . Tara was shot and . . . and killed, by Warren."  
  
Spike's eyes went wide at the name.  
  
"Yes. That Warren. Willow was upstairs with Tara when it happened. Making a long story less long, Willow got back into dark magick and skinned Warren alive. Xander brought her back from it. It's still hard for all of us, with Tara gone, but Willow . . . The worst part was that Warren was trying to kill me. One of his stray bullets hit her, but he did get me too. I think I actually died again, in the hospital, before Willow completely healed me. I think it's time for a lighter subject . . . As soon as there is one, I'll be sure to let you know, because that whole year pretty much sucked."  
  
For a few moments, Spike just stared open-mouthed with one of the saddest expressions Buffy had ever seen on him.  
  
Buffy sighed. "So . . . Spark any memories?"  
  
"Sorry, but no."  
  
"I didn't want to have to do this, but I guess it's my best shot."  
  
Spike's expression turned from sadness to confusion. "What are you--"  
  
"I touch the fire and it freezes me."  
  
As soon as she said those few words, something seemed to spark inside Spike. Buffy saw it, considering it was hard to miss. He soon joined in with his own part, while she continued.  
  
"I look into it and it's black. This isn't real, but I just want to feel . . ."  
  
By the look on Spike's face, Buffy knew the image of them both kissing had sprung into his mind.  
  
Spike looked at her wide-eyed. "We . . ."  
  
Buffy nodded. "Yeah."  
  
Spike held the expression. "Were we--"  
  
"Together? Not really. It's kind of hard to explain . . . This was one of the parts I was hoping to not have to explain. You loved me, I didn't . . . love you. I was using you to . . . to feel. Eventually I broke up with you. I couldn't take it anymore. I still can't . . . I hate myself for that. But, what you did was marginally worse."  
  
Buffy could tell he was remembering the time in her bathroom. His eyes got even wider and now they set off a deeply apologetic look. "Oh, God . . . Buffy, I . . . It won't help, will it?"  
  
"What won't?"  
  
"Apologies. They won't help."  
  
Buffy hesitated. "No. They-They won't. But, things have changed where I belong. Everything has changed. I forgave you. You're different now . . . then. I don't really know what to call it. But where I'm from--"  
  
"I have a soul."  
  
There was another long moment of silence before Buffy spoke.  
  
"Do you remember it all? Not just the soul having, but what came after it."  
  
"Yeah. I do."  
  
Buffy started to get up. "I should go. There's a lot to do. Giles is getting in . . . in about twelve hours, but there's still a lot to do with the not sleeping and the other really bad excuses. Sorry, but I've just got to go."  
  
"No. It's fine. You should go. But . . . why didn't you tell them? You're friends."  
  
Buffy sat back down. "I didn't tell them . . . The reason I didn't tell them in this world is because everything's still new. They could have thought something was seriously wrong or that I was possessed and I just couldn't take the chance of them sending me back . . . to the dead. I didn't . . . I still don't want to take the risk of that happening. It might destroy any chance I might have at getting back."  
  
"What's wrong with this world? If something does go wrong, and you can't go back, would it be so bad staying here?"  
  
It was Buffy's turn to be confused. "What? How can you even ask me that? Of course it would be bad for me here. This . . . None of this is real. You, them, me . . . None of it here is real. Everything about this place is wrong. I don't belong here."  
  
"But to me you do. The world is right to me, to all of them. To us, you do belong here. This is all we know."  
  
"And this is all I don't. I don't know you or them or the big evil I'm supposed to fight here. I shouldn't have to. But this isn't just something I can wake up from. I can't just pretend like it's not happening. And so I'm stuck here, in this world, with so far no way out. But, right now, there's nothing keeping me here with you."  
  
With that, she got up and left the crypt and ran home. 


	9. Chapter Eight Nothing's Ever What it Se...

Disclaimer: Same as always.  
  
Note: Parts of this chapter may be very unbelievable, but. . . you'll see. Just read it. Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up. There's this little thing I hate to call school, and it takes up far too much of my time. I have mid-terms in about two or three weeks . . . So, if there's an even longer delay, you'll know why. I'll try to update more over Christmas vacation. Oh, and if anyone needs to or wants to contact me for any reason, my e-mail address is Willow2666@hotmail.com, and my AIM screen name is Gaia926 (I don't really use Wiccan2666 that much anymore).  
  
Chapter Eight  
  
When Buffy got home, she wasn't surprised to find everyone still asleep. Sunrise was still a few hours away, but Buffy was too wired to even think about joining them. Buffy decided to sit on her living room couch until she could think of something better to do. She surprised even herself with what she did next. She began to cry. It didn't make sense to her, since she had been calm and collected a few moments before.  
  
YOU'RE OVERWHELMED. CRYING IS A PERFECTLY RATIONAL RESULT.  
  
Trying to regain even the smallest bit of her mental composure, Buffy decided to at least attempt having a civilized conversation.  
  
"I hate you. You know that, right?"  
  
YEAH, I KIND OF PICKED UP ON THAT.  
  
"Why did you do this to me?"  
IT'S MY JOB. JUST LIKE IT WAS ONCE ANYANKA'S JOB. OH, BUT I DID GET MORE POTENTIALLY USEFUL INFORMATION.  
  
"Please share," Buffy demanded. Her crying had finally ceased and now she just wanted answers.  
  
WELL . . . IN THIS REALITY, IT TURNS OUT THERE WAS A FOURTH, LESSER KNOWN HELL GOD.  
  
"Let me guess . . . Is she . . . evil?"  
  
YES. VERY. BUT SHE'S . . . DIFFERENT.  
  
"Different as in . . . ?"  
  
IT'S HARD TO EXPLAIN. SHE'S POWERFUL, BUT MOST OF HER POWER RESIDES IN MAGICKS. BASICALLY, THAT'S ALL I KNOW.  
  
"Thanks for that vagueness."  
  
ANYTIME. BUT, I'VE GOT TO GO.  
  
For the next two and a half hours, Buffy actually attempted sleep. The best she got was forty-five minutes of "sleep" before nearby voices woke her.  
  
**************************************************************************  
  
Buffy woke to Dawn, Tara, and Willow talking and laughing in the kitchen. She decided to go join them, and at least try to have fun.  
  
"Hey, guys," Buffy said, with an overly emphatic yawn.  
  
Willow immediately perked even more up. "Hey, Buffy!"  
  
"When did you get back from patrolling?" Dawn asked.  
  
Buffy thought for a moment before answering and decided to go with the truth. "About three hours ago, I guess. What have you been talking about?"  
  
Dawn took this one. "About one teacher at my school. It's just that she basically wears rugs to school in the attempt of skirts, and hooker boots, and is a complete jerk. We just kept coming up with certain things that Willow and Tara could do to her . . ."  
  
Dawn continued on, but Buffy was too bored to hear any of it. 'I can't believe I was really that shallow', Buffy thought. When she assumed Dawn was done, Buffy decided it was time to tell them everything. Well, almost everything . . .  
  
"Um . . . You guys? There are some things you really need to know." She took a short pause before continuing.  
  
"I . . . I wasn't in hell. I know you all probably thought I was, but I wasn't. This is all going to be a lot to take in, but you have to believe me. I'm from a year in the future. Well, actually, I'm from a completely different world. I was dreaming one night, or so I've been told, and I made a wish to live the past year over again. Better. So a vengeance demon granted this wish I didn't even know I'd made . . ." She continued on, leaving out certain bits and pieces, some of the major parts being Tara's death and everything pertaining to Spike. There was a long pause before anything happened.  
  
Willow almost started crying. "My, God Buffy. You really were in hell. Look at what it's done to you. I'm so sorry, Buffy."  
  
"No, but Will, I wasn't. I was ---"  
  
"It's clouded your judgement. Buffy, I'm sorry," Tara interrupted.  
  
'What do we do?" Willow asked.  
  
"I think you know what we have to do. Buffy, I'm sorry."  
  
Willow's eyes widened. "Tara, no!"  
  
"We have to. She could . . . She could do anything. She could be led to believe she has to kill us, or worse. There's always worse. Don't you understand?"  
  
Willow nodded, her eyes returning to normal. "Yeah. I guess I do. I'm sorry Buffy. I'm sorry, but . . . we have to."  
  
It took a few minutes for what they meant to finally sink in.  
  
"No. No! You-you don't understand! I'm not crazy or possessed and I'm never going to hurt any of you! I'm telling you the truth! Ask Spike! Please, don't do this!"  
  
Willow made solemn eye contact with Buffy. "I'm sorry."  
  
Buffy quickly turned to Dawn. "Dawnie? Please, Dawnie!"  
  
Dawn shook her had. "I want you to stay. I-I really do. But . . . They're right. I'm sorry, Buffy. You know I love you, right?"  
  
Buffy nodded. "Yeah. But I'm not the one with the clouded judgement. My judgement has blue skies and no chance of overcast. Really."  
  
Willow got up and went into one of the kitchen drawers. What she removed almost made Buffy scream. "Will, no! Please! You have to believe me!"  
  
Since Dawn was the nearest to Buffy, she quickly got up and also got a sharper knife from the same drawer. She walked back over as Buffy slowly moved backward. 'This isn't happening. This can't be happening', Buffy thought. She couldn't handle it. It was too much. While walking backwards, she tripped over a chair leg and fell to the floor. Before she had the chance to get up, Dawn bent over her, trying to decide where to stick the knife.  
  
"Dawn, quick! Before she has the chance to hurt anyone!" Willow called after her.  
  
Tears began to slide down Dawn's face. "I . . . I can't do this. She's my sister. I can't . . ."  
  
"You have to! She can't hurt anyone! Who knows what she's capable of! Do you want to die? Do you want us to die?"  
  
"No. I don't. I'm sorry, Buffy. I'm sorry. But, this is the work that I have to do."  
  
Buffy's last thoughts were of disbelief and horror. With one fluid motion, Dawn plunged the knife into her sister and, for Buffy, everything faded to black. 


	10. Chapter Nine Mortem

Disclaimer: Same as always.  
  
Note: Finally, Christmas vacation!! The time that allows me to update more. Hopefully, that's a good thing. For any Latin speaking people, Mortem does mean death, right? Please tell me. Oh, and my screen names are Wiccan2666, Aya9269, Gaia926, and Tabula Rasa6x8.  
  
Chapter Nine  
  
When Buffy really woke up, her first thoughts were 'How fake was that?' Although she thought it, and knew it, her dreams always felt real until she woke from them. She glanced at a clock and then out her living room window and connected the both. Now sunrise was only one simple hour away, but she couldn't wait that long.  
  
Buffy quickly got up and left a note on the refrigerator telling everyone she'd be at The Bronze for a while, should they need her. While walking past a mirror in her hallway on her way out, Buffy noticed what she was wearing. She figured she didn't really want to go anywhere with dirt and vampire dust on her clothing, so Buffy she went upstairs to change. Buffy settled on a red halter, simple black paints with a silver chain going through the belt loops, and then went to search Dawn's closet for a jacket. Selecting a black leather jacket that the Dawn she knew didn't own, Buffy walked downstairs and out the door.  
  
**************************************************************************  
  
At the Bronze, Buffy bought a diet coke, then decided to sit at a table on the upper level. As far as she could tell, there was a total of no vamps at the Bronze, considering how near sunrise was. Except one. She hadn't noticed him until scanning the crowd a second time. He was sitting at the bar, drinking God knows what, oblivious to the world around him. Except for Buffy.  
  
As soon as her eyes fell upon him, he just happened to glance in her direction. She could tell he wanted to come up. He could tell she knew he wanted to. With a nod from Buffy, he brought his drink and went up the stairs to join her.  
  
He glanced at her. "Slow night?"  
  
She glared back with just a little more hostility than she had intended. "Not really." She took a sip of her diet coke before continuing. "I have a word for you."  
  
"I'd say beer, but I'd be wrong."  
  
Buffy paused a moment before continuing. "Sunrise. In half an hour. Oh. And by any chance, can you tell me anything about a fourth hell god?"  
  
Spike's eyes widened at her question. He noticed that she'd noticed, so he shrugged it off.  
  
Buffy sighed. "Not quite the reaction I was hoping for."  
  
Spike cleared his throat. "Mortem."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Her name. Mortem. It means-"  
  
"I know what it means. Death. I've been around Willow when she's doing spells long enough to know what it means."  
  
"Mortem is a very powerful hell god who never fit in with the others. She's very powerful and much weaker than the rest, but in different ways."  
  
Buffy sighed again. "I'm guessing you don't mean she was an outcast at 'Hell god High'."  
  
"Unfortunately, no. That's all I know about her. Why did you ask?"  
  
"Halfrek told me something was happening and that this lesser known hell god was going to cause some commotion. That's all "I" know."  
  
Spike shifted in his seat uncomfortably. "Well, let's just say from what I've heard, Glory was like a peace bringer compared to her."  
  
It was Buffy's turn to shift uncomfortably, especially since she had noticed she had tied the halter too loose, so it exposed just a little more cleavage than she would have liked. "So. I was brought back from Heaven in my other world. It felt like hell there for a while. Then it got better. Then I was brought into this world which is bringing an entirely new definition of hell to my book."  
  
Spike glanced at one of the only clock's The Bronze had, and then back to Buffy. "Yeah, well, I've got to go. See you on patrol?"  
  
"I'm not making any promises."  
  
With that exchange, Spike hurried out of The Bronze.  
  
Now alone, Buffy tried to act like she was enjoying herself, but failed. She was about to leave when that night's band began to play a different song. A song she wished she couldn't relate to. It took a few moments for the lyrics to sink in, but she decided to wait until the song was until halfway through.  
  
~Sometimes in my dreams I go back and change things Make them right But then in the middle of the night When I wake up I know the way they were was right.  
  
It was meant to be It was destiny It was the way they were meant to unfold The way the story was to be told.  
  
I'm just living in the past Just want the memory to last Don't want it to fade from my site Just like the fire of an ever burning light I want to get the moment back But I can't. ~  
  
Buffy fanatically ignore the rest of the song, trying to leave as fast as she could. It was far too large of a coincidence for her, except she didn't believe in them, so Buffy really didn't know what to call it. As Buffy left, she noticed the girl band's name was "Frantic" and knew it would help to burn the name into her memory. She didn't understand why, but she just knew. She'd have Willow do a background check after her classes were over. 


	11. Chapter Ten Not Repeating Past Mistakes

Disclaimer: Same as always.  
  
Chapter Ten  
  
Willow did do the background check, and didn't find much. Apparently it was a newer band, just being discovered. At first, Buffy realized how insane she seemed, looking up a band just because she had a "feeling". That was just it. It wasn't a feeling, it was more than that. A connection? More like the two combined.  
  
What they found first were a list of names, none of which sparked much of anything. Liza Torres, Ashlee Storm, Cynthia West, and Michelle Morgan. They were probably just stage names anyway. The biography only said that the four girls in the group had never met before writing the songs and recording the album.  
  
After going to ten websites and finding nothing but the same biography except worded differently, audio clips, and lyrics, Buffy decided to give up on her crazy "feeling" and to come back to reality. The feeling had started to fade, so it could have been she had just liked their songs. She was too confused to tell. That emotion didn't even feel like hers anymore.  
  
Buffy decided to shrug it off and move onto more important subjects. "So . . . About me being broke . . . How broke, exactly, do you mean?"  
  
Tara looked at Buffy. "Well, probably not as much as you're thinking, but enough to get worried. You still have some money, but . . . but after your mother's medical bills and both of your . . . funeral costs, there wasn't much. Just enough to have made it through the summer."  
  
Buffy sighed. "I'll hit the job adds. Where's the paper?"  
  
Willow nodded toward the kitchen. "On the table."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
Buffy went to the kitchen to get the paper, hoping to find something away from the fast food franchise. Although, when she saw the kitchen table, it completely barren, save for a few place mats. 'Maybe I'll just work at the Magic Box. It has to be better than the Double Meat Palace, but that's not saying much . . . Besides. Time can't go all weird this time,' she thought.  
  
She walked back to the group, who now had the television on. It was the 12:00 news. Buffy hadn't even noticed the time, since Willow & Tara had skipped classes that day. "Uh, guys?"  
  
The other three girls simultaneously glanced up at her. "Yeah?"  
  
"Giles."  
  
To confirm what she was saying, Willow looked at the clock. "Dammit. His flight was supposed to get in at 12:00, right?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Dawn quickly turned off the t.v., found the car keys, and tossed them to Willow.  
  
"Thanks Dawn" came Willow's response. Willow looked to Tara. "Should we just use magick this time or do things the old-fashioned way?"  
  
Tara looked back at her. "Magick. There's just no time."  
  
After saying a few words in a language Buffy didn't understand, Willow and Tara were engulfed in a bright, golden light. When the light faded, they were now out of their pajamas and dressed in street clothes.  
  
Buffy was still in her halter, but there was no time to change it. While Dawn had still been sleeping, Buffy had placed the leather jacket back in her closet, but now Buffy decided to let it slip, as it was still very cold outside. "Hey, Dawn. Can I borrow your leather jacket?"  
  
Dawn sighed. "Okay. But I get to borrow your black, strapless halter for the school dance tomorrow."  
  
Buffy returned the sigh. "All right. Thanks."  
  
Both Summers girls rushed upstairs; Buffy for the jacket, Dawn to get completely changed. In less than five minutes, both returned downstairs fully dressed and ready to go.  
  
**************************************************************************** ****  
  
They didn't reach the airport until 12:40, but were relieved since the flight was late anyway. The four women had to wait only minutes before another announcement came on saying Flight 926 had just arrived.  
  
Buffy spotted him as soon as the crowd had cleared out. He did the same with her. He walked to the girls, put his luggage down, and as soon as he had, Buffy hugged him at least twice as hard as her sister had in her room when Buffy had first come back in this world.  
  
When she let go, he moved on to Dawn, Tara, and Willow, right before the two missing gang members arrived.  
  
Anya was the first to speak, complaining as usual. "We're late. I knew we'd be late. You see, Xander's never heard of the gas petal."  
  
Xander sighed. "An. We're here now, okay? Let it go."  
  
Anya continued as if he'd never spoken. "But we were having sex, so at least we have a good excuse."  
  
Xander let out another sigh. "I don't really think they needed to know that."  
  
"We really didn't," Buffy said.  
  
Giles was on the verge of crying at the sight of Buffy alive. "My God, Buffy. There's not enough time."  
  
"I know. I've missed you. I've missed all of you. It's just . . . there's a lot you don't know, and I really need to tell you, but . . . It's harder. Harder with you all."  
  
Buffy noticed she had been talking a bit louder than she'd intended, and some strangers were looking at her very oddly. It didn't help much that she was crying. She continued in a whisper. "I'll tell you all later. Tonight? Tonight. I promise to tell you all tonight."  
  
Everyone else looked at her with confusion, but nodded.  
  
Buffy repeated what she had said.  
  
"Tonight."  
  
**************************************************************************** ****  
  
At 7:00 that night, everyone, excluding Spike, was gathered in the Summers' living room. Even after the not-so-realistic-dream she'd had, Buffy knew she had to tell them almost everything. Enough so she wouldn't have to have all sorts of feelings locked up inside her that no one else but Spike could understand. She'd made that mistake once before and was not about to do it again. Buffy finally had enough courage inside her to tell them what they needed to know. Her only hope was that they didn't the way she kept thinking they'd react. Her dream . . . was extremely unrealistic to her now . . . but, anything was possible in a world like this. Anything bad, anything good. Anything.  
  
Buffy had positioned herself between Tara, Willow, and even the almost squished Dawn on the end opposite of Willow. Giles sat in a wooden chair, and Xander & Anya shared an oversized recliner. Anya had the only bowl of popcorn rested on her lap, occasionally shoving hand fulls in her mouth. Aside from the crunches of popcorn, the room was silent, and all eyes fell on Buffy. If their gazes could burn, she'd be ash by now.  
  
Buffy looked up from her lap and stared. Not at any person, but it was easier that way. "Guys. There's a lot you need to know."  
  
She went on to tell about the other world, being in Heaven, telling Spike first in both worlds, the three nerds, and Willow almost destroying the world. Again, she left out everything about Tara being killed, and everything about her and Spike's "relationship". She knew the inevitable question from Willow would come.  
  
"Uh . . . Buffy? Why did I almost destroy the world?"  
  
"Because . . . because you kind of got addicted to magick. And you got pretty angry by me getting shot and almost killed."  
  
Dawn started to cry. Willow was next. Then Tara. Anya had just grabbed another handful of popcorn and was about to put it in her mouth, but paused in the lift and the popcorn fell to the floor. Buffy knew certain things she'd left out had started to fill themselves in in their memories. Willow driving the car into the wall, Tara and Willow's break up, Xander and Anya's not-so-perfect wedding, Anya returning to her vengeful ways, and Willow, at least, remembered Tara being shot. Apparently, she was the only one. Willow embraced Tara, and began crying even harder. Thankfully, no one seemed to remember anything between her and Spike. But was that necessarily a good thing?  
  
Anya immediately got up from Xander's lap and walked out the door. Xander went after her. No one spoke. The silence ate away at Buffy, like termites to wood. The crying really wasn't helping. But, then she realized she was crying, too. It continued for at least twenty minutes before Buffy had had enough. Still in the halter, she decided to go patrolling. She quickly told them before rushing out the door without a coat. 'Yay. Now I get to freeze my ass off. This day had just been endless fun . . .,'she thought. She wanted to work off the feeling she had. There were honestly no words to describe it, but she really didn't like it. Unfortunately, it was a completely vamp free night, which was somewhat unusual. It didn't help much that Buffy kept her eyes mostly to the ground, deep in thought. 'Hey. It's not all bad. Nobody stabbed me this time. That's a plus,' she thought.  
  
Buffy looked up just in time to realize she was about to have a head-on collision with Spike who had his gaze to the ground. "Spike."  
  
He stopped in mid-stride. "Buffy. I was on my way to your house."  
  
"Well, then I hate to tell you, but you're going in the wrong direction."  
  
Spike appeared to be noticing this for the first time. "Oh. Yeah. Sorry."  
  
She almost cracked up, right there. "Some deep thought you had going there."  
  
"It's not my fault. I didn't ask for you to tell me all of what you did."  
  
Buffy knew he was just playing around, btu she couldn't take it. She'd had enough. Again. Although, this time she was marginally more overwhelmed and relieved at the same time. Buffy's legs collapsed beneath her and she was soon on her knees on the ground with her head in her hands crying.  
  
Spike didn't know whether to stay standing or bend down to comfort her, so he stayed standing. "I'm sorry. I never meant . . . I'm sorry. But it's not just that, is it?"  
  
She continued crying, but let her hands drop and looked up at him. "No. It's not."  
  
He looked at her with one of those knowing glancing he usually used when he had something to brag about, but Buffy could tell that was not his intent here. "You told them."  
  
She nodded. "Yeah. I did. I've been wishing over and over again in my head that I didn't, but I think it's better this way. If I'm stuck here for a while I figure I might as well not repeat past mistakes."  
  
Her crying had almost stopped, so he took it as an opportunity to reach his arm down to help her up. She accepted. After another moment or so, the crying had ceased completely, and they walked in the correct direction of her home.  
  
"I know it's hard fo you here, but . . . You have to face them sooner or later. Trust me. The time between it only makes things worse."  
  
"I know. And it is hard. But I do choose sooner. It's not like I'll be any more willing an hour, or five, from now."  
  
"Good choice."  
  
When they reached her house, he waited by the sidewalk as she slowly walked to the front door. Buffy paused for a moment or so before giving a nod to Spike and going in. It was time to face the music.  
  
**************************************************************************** ****  
  
It was amazing how much a difference an hour could make. No one was crying anymore, but still there was no sign of Xander or Anya. Everyone looked at Buffy with slightly relieved eyes.  
  
"Buffy." Dawn said the name that was on everyone's lips.  
  
"Yeah. Look. I'm sorry about just rushing out before."  
  
"No really. It's okay. It's not like we were really giving you any reasons to stay . . . but, the news. There's this one story that's been on every station."  
  
Dawn continued for Willow. "Yeah, and it's so weird. They've found like five corpses burnt to a crisp in the past five days, all just outside Sunnydale."  
  
"They're claiming it's spontaneous combustion, but . . ." Willow said.  
  
"But we think it might be something else," Giles added.  
  
Buffy's eyes widened. "Mortem."  
  
Giles nodded. "Yes. And much of it."  
  
"No, not mortem. Mortem. The hell god Mortem. Halfrek told me a few things about her, and so did Spike, but this must be her."  
  
"Why? Did they mention flaming was her specialty?" Willow asked.  
  
Buffy shook her head. "No. But I've just got this feeling . . ."  
  
"As long as it's not the same feeling you had about that band, then I guess we can work with this."  
  
Buffy actually did laugh. It felt good, seeing as she hadn't done it for a while. "No. And yeah. But mostly, no."  
  
Willow also let out a short giggle. "Okay. Then let's hit the net." 


	12. Chapter Eleven Revelations

Disclaimer: Same as always. But, I own "Frantic" and Mortem.  
  
Note: First of all, Merry Christmas to all those who celebrate it, and to those who don't, hope you're enjoying your vacation time!! My mom's getting her cast off today (finally). She broke her thumb on Thanksgiving (long story), so it's a great Christmas present. I just want to take the time out here to thank all of my reviewers!! I'd have never made it this far without you guys!! Wow. Chapter Eleven. Thanks you guys!! Sorry this chapter's short . . . I was going to make it longer, but then, if I'd added what I wanted it would have been way too long. Anyways . . . Happy Holidays!  
Chapter Eleven  
Apparently, Mortem really was a lesser known hell god. They found very few sites, with  
  
very little information. Willow read aloud to the group as she scrolled down.  
"Mortem has a hypnotizing voice while singing, which is much like that of a siren's. She  
  
lures anyone she can find to her with a hauntingly magnificent voice, mesmerizes them,  
  
and kills them. Even vampires and demons have been known to fall victim to such fate.  
  
The few who can escape her song, go insane from a sort of "addiction". Apparently, they  
  
can't get enough. Many accidentally commit suicide or appear to spontaneous combust."  
  
Willow glanced over at Buffy, sitting at the other end of the dining room table. "You  
  
were right."  
Buffy nodded to Willow. "Keep reading."  
"Mortem also possesses very powerful mind control and great beauty. I'm guessing two  
  
more deadly ways to kill people. It also mentions she has many different, and powerful,  
  
forms of magicks, but very few have actually ever witnessed what they are. Or, in other  
  
words, the guy who made this site has no idea what they are." Willow paused to scroll  
  
down past a few large, and graphic, images of some of Mortem's victims.  
Dawn swallowed hard, seemingly to keep the rising bile down. "I really didn't need to see  
  
that."  
Buffy glared at her, then back to Willow. A few moments passed before Willow found  
  
anything worth mentioning. "Oh! There's a newspaper article. It's dated . . . from a couple  
  
of weeks ago. It says that a rising band, "Frantic", was playing at a club just outside of  
  
Sunnydale, when all of a sudden, some guy bursts in and starts saying "Mortem must  
  
die", then bursts into flames with no visible cause. The woman who wrote this article  
  
goes on to say that no one knows what it means, since the guy basically said death must  
  
die, blah, blah, blah . . . Oh, and the guy who manages this site says that all those who go  
  
insane from Mortem's singing say the same thing before they die."  
Buffy got up to go to the computer screen. "So, "Frantic" is involved in one way or  
  
another. I mean, they might know something."  
Willow nodded. "Maybe. I'll go to The Bronze's site and see if they're playing again."  
"Wait. Let me see the pictures."  
Dawn quickly walked to sit at the seat left of Buffy's from her position of looking over  
  
Willow's shoulder.  
Willow scrolled up to the photos of the corpses. Buffy took a few minutes to examine  
  
them over before letting Willow know she could go to The Bronze's site.  
"It says here that "Frantic"'s playing again tonight and tomorrow again before going to  
  
New York."  
"When does it say they start?" Buffy asked.  
  
Willow glanced at the site, then to a clock. "About an hour ago."  
  
**************************************************************************** ****  
  
Before they left, Buffy made a quick call to Xander and Anya's apartment, but no one  
  
answered, so she left a message letting them know where the rest of the gang, save Giles,  
  
were headed. Giles claimed he needed to unpack and make a few phone calls. 'He'll say  
  
anything to get out of going to The Bronze,' Buffy thought.  
Thankfully, when they arrived at The Bronze, "Frantic" was still playing. They were five  
  
minutes over their scheduled time, so Buffy knew they'd have to act fast if they wanted  
  
any information. As soon as their last song for that night ended, Buffy went up to them to  
  
try to ask them a few questions. They each appeared a little younger than her, but a little  
  
older than Dawn, so Buffy figured she had a clear shot at getting them to talk.  
"Hi." She said. 'I couldn't even think of anything better to say?' Buffy thought. Mentally,  
  
she kept kicking herself for not having said something a bit more well thought out.  
"Hey." The response came from the tallest and visibly the oldest of the group. Her skin  
  
was on the pale side. 'It's make-up. Buffy, you've spent way too much time on the  
  
Hellmouth,' she thought.  
The girl continued. "Look. If you're from another record label, I'm sorry, but we've  
  
already signed with Arista."  
Buffy shook her head. "No, no. It's nothing like that. I just wanted to talk to you about . .  
  
." Buffy checked behind her, to make sure no one else was in ear shot. "About that  
  
supposed 'spontaneous combustion' at a club you were playing at two weeks ago."  
The same black haired girl's eyes went wide. "O-Oh. We don't have time to talk about  
  
that now. Sorry."  
Buffy decided not to pursue any further, as she didn't want to scare the group away.  
  
Besides. There was still the next day. She went to the table Dawn, Willow, and Tara were  
  
gathered at and took the only remaining seat between Tara and Dawn.  
"So. What did they say?" Dawn asked.  
Buffy sighed. "That they didn't have time to talk about it now. There's always tomorrow."  
It was time for the group sigh. They sat in silence, listening to the noise of people talking  
  
all around them. Buffy suddenly found a fascination with the top of the table. 'It's  
  
amazing what bordem can do to you,' she thought. She looked up in time to see who she  
  
thought to be the youngest of the band walking over to her. She quickly handed Buffy a  
  
folded up note.  
"I'm sorry for Liza. She's just been . . . on edge lately, you know? I have to get going. Out  
  
hotel, room number, and room phone number are on there. Bye." She quickly walked  
  
back to join the other members.  
Buffy unfolded the note. It had everything the girl had said on it, plus times when she  
  
could or couldn't call and times when she could come visit the hotel. Buffy handed the  
  
note to Tara who then passed it to Willow, then to Dawn, then back to Buffy.  
Tara stood up from the table. "I have to go to the bathroom. I'll be back in a minute."  
Willow immediately stood up next to her. "Me too. Shouldn't have drank all those  
  
mochas."  
The two walked off in the direction of the bathroom. Buffy looked to Willow's seat,  
  
where she expected to find at least five mocha mugs, but saw only one and it wasn't quite  
  
empty. 'Poor Will. I can't blame her for being overprotective. At least she'll get to be with  
  
Tara longer here. But I guess that'll just make it harder to let go in the other world,' Buffy  
  
thought. 


	13. Chapter Twelve Conversation

Disclaimer: Same as always. I only own Mortem and Frantic.  
  
*NOTE* Well, this is annoying. I went back and made all the chapters double spaced and fixed all the typos I could find, but then the overall spacing got messed up. If anybody knows why this is happening, please e-mail me at Willow2666@hotmail.com. Thank you!  
  
Second Author's Note: I finally got all my notebooks back, so I should be able to get back to updating this fic again. But right now, I have this essay due at school, so I basically have to devote most of my time to that right now. Sorry it took so long to update, but thanks for all those who have stuck with it!  
Chapter Twelve  
  
The next day, not too late in the afternoon, Buffy called the hotel room number the girl from Frantic had given her. As soon as one of the members Buffy hadn't met picked up, Buffy let her know she'd be over soon with a few friends. Willow had tried Xander and Anya's apartment again, and finally got an answer from Xander. He said neither of them were done talking, and the rest of the gang should go on ahead. That they did.  
  
It only took the group, again save Giles, two knocks before they girl apparently known as Liza answered.  
  
"Oh. Come on in."  
  
The four girls walked into the elegantly decorated room, wondering how in the world the band could afford it.  
  
Liza motioned to a plain turquoise couch. "You can sit there if you want. My better halves are out getting lunch. They said they'd be back soon to talk."  
  
Willow and Tara's bodies stiffened. Buffy could tell they had sensed something she and Dawn hadn't. Buffy put a hand on Willow's shoulder. "Will? What's wrong?"  
  
Willow glanced to Buffy, then back to Liza. "You're a demon."  
  
Liza looked surprised, but nodded. "Yeah. Half and half. Human and demon. I can't really do much, though."  
  
Buffy looked harder at Liza, trying to find a hint of lie or deception, but found nothing. "What about the other three? Are they-"  
  
"They're all at least partially human. One's fully even. Or at least claims to be. Ashlee. Although, the rest of us have doubts . . ."  
  
No one said anything, but the four girls sat down. The silence told Liza to continue.  
  
"We can feel so much power from her. Mostly in surges when she's sad or angry, but it's there. Our latest theory is that she's a witch. A very powerful witch." Liza glanced to Tara and Willow. "Like both of you. Well, not at all like both of you." Her eyes rested on Willow. "You have so much more power, locked up inside you. Enough to fight her and win. But I think we both know you won't. Can't. Not with what you know." He eyes moved sadly to Tara. "Not with what you've lost."  
  
Buffy didn't even have to look to know tears were forming in her best friend's eyes. It hurt to know even in this world, Buffy was still the cause of pain and suffering.  
  
Tara looked confusingly to Liza. "What are you talking about?"  
  
Liza cleared her throat in a gesture to shrug off the question. "It's not important. But they're almost back and I wasn't supposed to tell you any of that . . ."  
  
Just on cue, the sound of a key card inserting came and the door opened. The three other girls walked in carrying Subway bags. They quickly sat down on another couch opposite of Buffy, Willow, Tara, and Dawn's.  
  
The girl who had given Buffy the note with the hotel information spoke up. "So. What did you guys talk about?"  
  
"Not really much of anything. I was waiting until you all got back," Liza replied while fiddling with her subway bag.  
  
Buffy, Willow, Tara, and Dawn sat for a few moments in awkward silence until Liza glanced up from unwrapping her sandwich. "Oh. Sorry about that. I guess I'll introduce us four. As you already know, I'm Liza." She pointed to the blonde girl sitting next to her on her left who was also the girl who had given Buffy the note. "This is Ashlee." Next Liza motioned to the girl on the left of Ashlee, who had chocolate brown hair and deep blue eyes. "That's Cynthia." Finally, she pointed to the last girl on the other end of the couch who had blonde hair with black tips at the end and brown eyes. "And that's Michelle. So. Who the hell are you?"  
  
Buffy sighed at started fidgeting with her hands. Something about the whole meeting unnerved her. "I'm Buffy, this is Willow, that's Tara, and at the end is my sister, Dawn."  
  
Ashlee dropped her soda, which luckily didn't spill. "You're the Slayer?"  
  
Buffy glared at her, trying to find something that would give the girl away as evil. "Yes. And I'd like to know what you know about Mortem and spontaneously combusting."  
  
Cynthia put her food down and her head in her hands. "A few weeks ago, we were playing, and inbetween songs some guy bursts in saying 'Mortem must die' and then he bursts into flames. Thank God I hadn't eaten that day. But, the phrase sounded familiar to me, so that night I went online and looked it up, and I found a few sites. I found out about a resurfacing hell god named Mortem who was planning to do something in Sunnydale, but no ones knows what. I found some more information about The Key and the ritual of a god going back to that hell dimension, but it doesn't seem like what Mortem wants to do."  
  
She paused to take a sip of her soda. "That's basically all I know."  
  
Her statement was followed by three murmured "Me too"'s.  
  
Buffy glaned at the clock and realized it was a lot later than she had thought it was. "Well, we have to go. But if you find out anything else, here's our home number and address."  
  
She stood up and walked over to the hotel phone where a pad of paper and a pen were stationed, and copied down the information. When she was done, she gave it to Liza.  
  
Liza read over the note and looked up at Buffy as she retreated to the door. "We will. We're not playing again after tonight, but we're in town for two more days after."  
  
Willow nodded as she, Tara, and Dawn headed toward the door. "Okay. So, if you see anything unusual, just give us a call."  
  
With that, the four left for home.  
*Sorry that chapter was so sketchy and short. I'll try to post another chapter soon* 


	14. Chapter Thirteen Make it Stop

Disclaimer: We all know that I own absolutely nothing except for Frantic, Mortem, and that demon guy at the the beginning with the green ponytail.  
  
Chapter Thirteen  
  
Make it Stop  
  
By the time it was 10:30 that night, Buffy was bored like there was no tomorrow. Which, given the circumstances, was a definite possibility.  
  
"I'm going to go patrolling now. Anyone want to come?" Buffy asked as she got up from her living room couch. Willow and Tara were next to her. Dawn was on the floor asleep with her head on a pillow, Xander was in a recliner, Anya was on the floor a few feet away, and Giles had declined her invitation to come over all together.  
  
Xander shook his head. "I think I'll just stay here."  
  
"We were actually planning on going to The Bronze in a little while, but no patrolling," Willow replied.  
  
Dawn snored, which Buffy took as a no.  
  
"I'll go," Anya said, getting up.  
  
"Great. Then let's go," Buffy said.  
  
The two got their coats and left.  
  
**************************************************************************** ******  
  
"Two hours and still no vampires. Is this some holy holiday that I don't know about?" Anya asked.  
  
Buffy looked thoughtfully at her for a moment. "Not that I know of."  
  
Anya stopped walking through one of Sunnydale's many cemeteries and kicked at the dirt. "Damn. I was really looking forward to kicking something's ass tonight."  
  
Buffy sat on a nearby tombstone and stared at the sky. "I know the feeling."  
  
BUFFY!  
  
As she heard her name inside her head, Buffy fell backwards off the tombstone. "Ow! Halfrek?!"  
  
Anya jerked her head at Buffy at the name of the demon. "Where? Hallie's here?"  
  
"No. She's inside my head."  
  
"Oh. Well, I think they have therapy for that."  
  
Buffy sighed at the remark. "Not like that. She's really talking to me, but the words are only spoken in my mind."  
  
BUFFY. BE VERY, VERY CAREFUL.  
  
"What? Why?"  
  
I CAN'T TELL YOU. NO ONE WILL TELL ME.  
  
"Is it Mortem?"  
  
I DON'T KNOW. JUST BE CAREFUL.  
  
Anya sat down on the tombstone across from Buffy. "I wonder what Mortem looks like."  
  
"Yeah. So do I. But Halfrek, find out what I have to be careful about!"  
  
There was no reply.  
  
"Halfrek! Halfrek! Dammit, I give up."  
  
"Buffy. Do you just want to go back now?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
With that, both women got up, but Buffy was the only one who doubled over in pain.  
  
Anya knelt down, attempting to be helpful. "Buffy? What's wrong?"  
  
Buffy shook her head frantically. "I don't know. I don't . . . It feels like something's trying to find me. Don't let it find me. Don't let it find me!"  
  
"I won't, but we have to get you home."  
  
"There are things crawling inside me; tearing me apart. Make it stop!"  
  
"Buffy! Calm down! Just stand up!"  
  
'What's happening to me?' Was Buffy's last thought as she screamed and her world faded into black.  
  
*Author's Note*: Yes, I know this chapter is very, very short, but I hadn't updated for a while, and I wanted to get another chapter out as soon as possible. Besides. This was where it should end, because the next part needs to be a different chapter. No, it's not your imagination. For once in my life, I actually know what I want to happen next! So, r&r. Thanks to all who have stuck with it. I'll try to update soon with a much longer chapter. 


	15. Chapter Fourteen Possession

Disclaimer: I own nothing except for Frantic, Mortem, and that's about it.  
  
Author's note: I know I said I'd update sooner, but here I am now, and with an actual semi-long (for me) chapter. Please r&r as it helps me survive the days, and it also keeps the story going. So, if you want to keep it going, please r&r!!  
  
Chapter Fourteen - Possession  
  
"Buffy. Buffy!! You have to wake up!! I'm not strong enough to carry you!!," Anya pleaded as she shook her friend.  
  
"Your house is too far away . . . I have to get help. But I don't want to leave you now . . . Spike!"  
  
Anya propped Buffy up against a tombstone and ran as fast as her legs would let her to Spike's crypt. 'Thank God we're in his cemetery,' she thought.  
  
When she got to his crypt, she bent over for a moment to catch her breath and slow her thoughts, then she got up and raced into the crypt. "Spike! Spike! It's about Buffy. I need your help."  
  
Spike got up from the chair he'd been sitting in and his face was now creased with worry. "What? What happened?"  
  
"I don't know . . . She just- She said Halfrek was talking to her again, and then she fell over and starting yelling about things trying to find her and then she blacked out. I need to get her home."  
  
Spike nodded and hurried to the door, and Anya followed. He paused at the doorway to let her pass. "Lead the way."  
  
**************************************************************************** ************************************************************************  
  
All around Buffy there was nothing but an endless sea of black. She didn't have a tangible form, bu she was there; staring into the abyss.  
  
"Where am I?" she asked the silence. Instead of words, her question came out as waves that ended before they'd begun.  
  
She started walking; or at least what should have been walking. But something wasn't right.  
  
"Who's there?"  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
As soon as her name was spoken, she became aware that she wasn't alone. That there was an untouchable number of people all around her. She couldn't see them, but she could feel them. The one that had spoken through the waves was right next to her.  
  
"Tara?"  
  
"Buffy. We have to get you out of here?"  
  
"I know. But where's here? And what are you doing here?"  
  
Tara sighed. "They sent me to find you. It's not safe in this part. Follow me."  
  
Buffy sensed Tara moving away from her, but she couldn't tell where. "Wait. Tara. I don't know where I am or where you're going. Tara!"  
  
She sensed Tara coming back again.  
  
"Let her see what is unseen."  
  
With the last syllable, everything erupted in shades of brightness and color. Most things were blurs, but she could see herself and Tara.  
  
Tara attempted a weak smile. "These are just avatars. Nothing has form or appearance here. Now follow me."  
  
Buffy did as she was instructed, but she couldn't pull her sight away from Tara. She was surrounded by white and wore a simple, yet extremely elegant dress. Buffy looked down at herself and saw herself as she always had, but whit a pale blue all around her.  
  
Tara paused and Buffy did the same. She waited while Tara held up her hand and spoke a few words in an ancient language Buffy had never heard before. A shimmer passed over the space in front of them and Tara went through. She emerged a few seconds later.  
  
"Good. It's sage. We have to go in there or else we could be lost in the spirit streams forever."  
  
Buffy nodded, still confused, but walked through the shimmer and Tara soon followed. It was exactly like the place they had just been, except Buffy could tell they were alone.  
  
Buffy glanced awkwardly at Tara, "So. What are you doing here?"  
  
"I'm the Tara from the other world; the original one. I still know what's going on, but there's not much I can do. This is one of the many netherworlds. It's not hell, but it's the passageway from dimensions and worlds and life and death. I'm here to help you out, and to tell you some things you need to know. Basically, I'm giving you a choice. Since you've come here, you can either fight through the barrier of the world you were just in, or go back to where you're supposed to be. But there's a catch."  
  
Buffy sighed. "Isn't there always?"  
  
"If you go back to the other world, where we both come from, you'll be leaving all of the dimensions vulnerable to Mortem. Once she's destroyed that world, there's nothing to stop her from destroying your's and all the rest."  
  
'This is the Tara you knew. This is the Tara who was murdered. The Tara who died a quick, but excruciatingly painful death. This was your friend.' As the meaning of the words finally sank in, Buffy couldn't help but start crying.  
  
"Tara . . . I'm so sorry. God, I'm so sorry."  
  
Tara smiled weakly again. "I know. I miss all of you so much. But there's nothing we can do. But, you can do something about Mortem. You can stop her before she starts. You know how you blacked out? Well, that's because something possessed your body and forced your spirit into the netherworld. The ether."  
  
"Mortem."  
  
Tara nodded. "Yes. But, we can work to get her out. But we'll have to somehow channel Willow. The only thing is that I don't know how to do it; they didn't tell me."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"The Powers-that-be. We have to somehow get the message to Willow and tell her what to say."  
  
The thought struck Buffy so fast that it was out of her mouth before she knew what she was saying. "Halfrek."  
  
Tara perked up slightly. "I almost forgot about her."  
  
Buffy looked thoughtful for a moment, pondering all the "what-if's". "Can we summon her? Is that allowed?"  
  
"Yeah. You'll have to do it since you've been in contact with her recently. There's a better chance of her responding that way."  
  
Buffy nodded. "Okay. Halfrek! Halfreak!! Get over here NOW!"  
  
Buffy and Tara stared at each other until smoke filled the space they were in and Halfrek appeared. "Yes?"  
  
Tara turned her gaze to Halfrek. "We need your help for something. We need you to channel our energies and messages to the Willow in Buffy's wish world."  
  
Halfrek sighed. "All right. But it'll take complete concentration and there can be no disturbances or the connection will be broken."  
  
Tara and Buffy glanced at each other, then spoke in unison. "We understand."  
  
Halfrek nodded. "Then let's get started."  
  
**************************************************************************** ************************************************************************  
  
"Here she is," Anya said as she and Spike arrived where she'd left Buffy. "God, she's so pale."  
  
Spike sighed and tried not to panic. "All right. We've got to get her home."  
  
He bent down and picked Buffy up gently in his arms.  
  
"It'll be all right, luv. It'll be all right," Spike murmured to Buffy as they hurried to get her home.  
  
**************************************************************************** ************************************************************************  
  
The avatars of Buffy, Tara, and Halfrek were now sitting in a small circle, with their hands clapsed.  
  
Halfrek glanced at the two women surrounding her. "So, you're ready? You know what you have to do?"  
  
Tara nodded.  
  
Buffy hesitated. "Wait. How is time moving in my original world? Have they noticed I'm gone?"  
  
Halfrek sighed. "Well . . . it's complicated. I'm not entirely sure. Time has either stopped, it's moving very, very slowly compared to your second world, or it's going on normally and you've slipped into a coma-like state of being and it's almost like you're dreaming this all."  
  
"Okay . . . Then I guess we should get started."  
  
Tara started speaking in another ancient language Buffy couldn't understand, but found fascinatingly beautiful. Halfrek had explained to them that it was basically asking the dimensions for permission to communicate with Willow. The only catch was that once they started communicating, the messages would be delayed anywhere from five to twenty seconds to and from each other.  
  
Tara stopped speaking and there was a long pause. Then her head shot back and a turquoise light shot through her.  
  
"Thank you," Tara said. "You'll have to speak through me since I'm the only one who can handle the power, since I can't be destroyed." Tara noticed the quick look of confusion on Buffy's face. "It's because I'm already dead. It's complicated."  
  
"So I've heard," Buffy remarked. "We'll just have to hope Mortem hasn't woken up yet."  
  
**************************************************************************** ************************************************************************  
  
Anya hurried up the steps and rang the doorbell of the Summers' home. 'It's actually locked for once. Great timing they have to start caring about their house being attacked,' she thought.  
  
The moment before someone opened the door seemed like an eternity, but Anya sighed with relief when Willow stood before her.  
  
As soon as her eyes landed on Buffy, she moved aside to let the three come inside. "Oh, God. What happened?"  
  
Anya sighed, now feeling completely exhausted. "I'm not sure. She started shouting ludicrous things and then she blacked out." She watched as Spike placed Buffy on the living room couch.  
  
Willow sat down on an oversized recliner across from the couch. "It could be a spell, but the energies don't seem right. Everything's a lot more detailed and confusing. We'll just have to wait for her to wake up."  
  
As if on cue, Buffy's eyes shot open and she stared blankly at the ceiling for a moment, orienting herself with her surroundings. She then sat up and gazed around the room.  
  
Willow was the first to notice something was seriously wrong. "Buffy? What's wrong with your eyes?"  
  
Instead of their normal blueish color, her eyes were now a deep shade of brown.  
  
Buffy responded with a grin. "The same thing that happens every time I possess someone."  
  
Willow, Anya, and Spike glanced at each other, but Spike was the one who spoke. "Mortem."  
  
Buffy's grin widened. "Gee. How did you ever figure it out?"  
  
Willow's eyes narrowed in anger. "What do you want?"  
  
Mortem stood up off the couch and the three other people in the room took a step back. "Good. So you know your place. You know what will happen if you even think about attacking me. I just came here to tell you to give up before you've started trying. Don't interfere with my life, I won't interfere with yours . . . Much. So, think of this as a warning. Just remember: Three strikes and you're out. But I won't let this visit be a total waste."  
  
With that, Mortem turned towards Spike and flashed a grin of pure insanity and lust.  
  
**************************************************************************** ************************************************************************  
  
"Okay. We've got a connection. Let's start. Buffy, tell her what's happening," Tara said.  
  
"Willow! It's Buffy. Mortem's possessing my body. We're going to send you the words to speak to reject her spirit back to her body."  
  
**************************************************************************** ************************************************************************  
  
Anya took another step back. "What do you mean?"  
  
"Whatever you want it to mean," Mortem said, taking two more steps toward Spike.  
  
Willow flinched, then turned around looking very dazed and confused. "Um . . . Okay. She's kind of attacking us right now, so hurry!"  
  
**************************************************************************** ************************************************************************  
  
Ten seconds later, Willow's message was received.  
  
Tara cleared her throat and began to speak in the same language as before.  
  
**************************************************************************** ************************************************************************  
  
Six seconds later, Willow turned around and look at Mortem. Her head tilted back and Tara's message came from her mouth. Once it was over, Mortem started writhing in pain, then fell to her knees, but soon she could no longer support her weight and she fell over unconscious.  
  
**************************************************************************** ************************************************************************  
  
Buffy smiled sadly at Tara. "Thank you."  
  
"Anytime. But, when you get back to our world, tell Willow I miss her, and I love her, and I always will, but I want her to be happy."  
  
"I will; I promise."  
  
With the last word, Buffy left any state of consciousness and traveled back to the world she needed to save. 


	16. Author's Note

Author's Note:  
  
Hey everyone!! Sorry it's been so long, but that's due to lack of reviews. I only got one for the last chapter, and it was the longest so far . . . I finally write the long chapter, and no one reviewed . . . lol. Oh, well. The point of this author's note is to ask you all if you want this story to continue. If so, please review to let me know!! It's open to non-members too, so if you like it, please tell me so I can continue. Thanks to all my reviewers and the people who like this story. I'm working on Chapter Fifteen right now, but I'm not sure whether I should put it up or not . . . So, anyway, please review if you want this fic to continue. Or tell me what you want to see. Thanks. 


	17. Chapter Fifteen Sun Rise

Author's Note: First off, I'd like to thank: Queen Boadicea, Spikes Chica, Spikes-gal787, Dezi, Unknown Summers, Maggie, Riley, Carol, Kiddo, Shelby, Reader, k, and Eldanildiel for responding to the message asking if anyone wanted this story to continue. I really appreciate it. And it's perfectly fine if you don't review every chapter. I just wanted people to review to the note to see how many people were still reading it. I hope that last sentence made sense. I only got three hours of sleep last night, so I apologize for the massive typos or gramatical errors that will probably make their way into this chapter. All in all, thanks to everyone who's read or reading this fic.  
  
Disclaimer: I only own the storyline and Frantic. Maybe a few other things too, but that's about it.  
  
Second Author's Note: I'm typing this up 15 minutes before the Buffy series finale. I'm going to cry so hard. Well, I'm going to try to type this all up tonight. When I post it is another story . . . Hopefully tomorrow. And I know this chapter is short and can pretty much qualify as filler, but I haven't updated in a while and it's basically here to tide everyone over until I get the next chapter out. I fear the end is coming to this story . . . But I have a sequal all planned out. Well, not so much planned, but I do have a basic plot down. But don't worry. This story could end up having a lot more chapters than I'm planning on.  
  
Chapter Fifteen  
  
"Buffy!! Buffy!! Wake up!!"  
  
Buffy could hear her friends calling to her and for one split second everything seemed almost normal. Then she remembered where she was and her eyes slowly began to open. She looked around and saw everyone huddled around her. She sat up and almost fell over again as an incredible wave of nausea passed over her.  
  
"Maybe we should give her some space. I've heard possession can have any number of results and they're rarely good," Anya piped up. The group backed up as commanded and Buffy felt much better after a few deep breaths.  
  
"When I was possessed, did I do anything . . .?" Buffy asked as she stood up.  
  
"Aside from wanting to get all naked with Spike, no."  
  
'Anya was always one with words,' Buffy thought to herself.  
  
"Wait," Willow said. "Am I the only one who's noticing something here? It doesn't seem like Mortem wants to do anything in the way of killing. It's more like she's toying with us."  
  
Buffy sighed. "If you call what just happened toying . . . Hey, Will? Can I talk to you for a sec in my room?"  
  
Willow nodded. "Yeah. Sure."  
  
The two left the resto fthe shaken group to sit on Buffy's bed.  
  
'I'll just cut right to the chase here,' Buffy thought.  
  
"Willow . . .When I was torn out of my body . . . I went to one of the Netherworld's and someone was there to guide me through everything. It was supposed to wait to tell the Willow in the other world, but you both have almost the same memories, so I thought I should tell you, too. My guide was- ---"  
  
"Tara."  
  
Buffy, now marginally startled, looked at Willow for an answer. "How did you know?"  
  
Willow smiled slightly. "I could feel her escence when her message passed through me. I wanted to say something to her, but there wasn't enough time."  
  
Buffy could tell Willow was near tears at that point. "She . . . she had a message for you. She wanted me to tell you that she loves you and she always will, but she wants you to be happy."  
  
"Thank you. For telling me. I'm not going to let them take her away from me, not again."  
  
"I know. But there's another reason I wanted to talk to you. I kind of wanted to go back and talk with 'Frantic' tonight."  
  
"Okay. So, when should we go?"  
  
"That's the thing. I wanted to talk to them alone. There's something they're not saying and I'm going to find out what it is. There's less of a chance they'll say anything if everyone goes."  
  
A wave of conflicted emotions crossed Willow's face, but vanished before Buffy could decipher most of them.  
  
"But Buffy . . . What if something happens? No one would be there to help. You could . . .die. Again. I was there too, and they seemed less than stable, you know?"  
  
Buffy tried to swallow the lump which had somehow made it's way into her throat. "I know. But I also know that many more people could die if I don't do this. They could have information that could lead us right to Mortem. But we'll never know until I do this. If I'm not back by sun rise, then you can start worrying."  
  
Willow hesitated for a moment. "All right. But you better be back by sun rise."  
  
"I will." 


End file.
